Life Lessons from a Toddler

The past week when I traveled to London, I spent much of my time with my nephew, my best friend’s son. It is during this time, watching him play, enjoy life and being truly happy that I realized some things about adults. It made me re-think many aspects and perceptions of childhood. I learned some great life lessons. It made me see life differently.

As we grow older we think we know more and we are progressing. But actually we just complicate things and in doing so we limit ourselves. I realized this when I saw my nephew doing whatever he wants. If he wanted to eat he would ask for it, if he wanted to play, he would just go play, if he wanted to laugh, he would just laugh, if he wanted to cry, he would just cry. It was that simple, no filters and no complications. He would simply do what he wanted to and once he did that he was happy.

The ultimate goal for him was just to be happy, he wanted to laugh and enjoy himself. This is such a simple thing but growing up we lose this simplicity, we forget how to just have fun and simply be happy. Our laughs become forced and our tears are hidden. We barely do what we want to or say what we have to. We start to wear masks and live with fears.

What I love about children is that they are so honest. They speak their minds and do not care about what others think about them. As I watched him play, I noticed my nephew would just say his opinions so frankly in such a light-hearted and genuine manner. If he wanted to say ‘no’ to something he would just say no, even if he couldn’t speak the word, he would just react to a situation with so many expressions, so much life and enthusiasm. It made me question why we as adults are so hesitant in being honest, and why we so often tame our reactions and emotions around others?

Is it because growing up, we are taught to tame ourselves in order to appear a certain way, to show others what they want to see?

If yes, then I believe the toddlers and children are braver than us adults, even at the initial stage of their lives, they see life better than we do.

Another thing that impressed me about my nephew was his curiosity, he was curious about everything. Whether it was the food he ate, or the toys he played with, he would try to know more, or experiment different things. He saw many possibilities and aspects within a simple thing, for example a spoon can be a playing tool, chasing a squirrel and jumping in the puddles could be fun and exciting. He responded to his instinct and curiosity with acts of innocence that were intended at just making him feel happy. As we grow older, we suppress our curiosity. We tend to accept justified notions and defined lines, our world starts to become black and white. The questions get less and less and even when we ask, we look for a particular answer.

As he saw other kids playing he wouldn’t hesitate in approaching and playing with them. He would make new friends and laugh with them as if he knew them from a long time. What I saw was a pure heart with no pre-conception of who others are. He would approach anyone he wanted to, as if they were all just the same. This is something that does not exist for us adults. We judge others before we even know them, we are cautious about even talking to someone. Many times, we reduce others to a category or label. Ironically as we grow older, we develop into something better, but do we actually get better? Do we actually progress or do we just reduce ourselves to controlling, over-thinkers who tend to rationalize every aspect of their lives?

Perhaps the most important lesson that I learned from my nephew was how he wouldn’t dwell upon any emotion or attach himself necessarily to anything or any scenario. If he would cry for a minute, the next minute he would be laughing. The laughter was genuine and the tears were short-lived.

Even when he was crying he wasn’t sad. He cried because he wanted something, so when he was given what he wanted he would be content. As a two-year toddler he knew how to get what he wanted better than a 25 year old, his persistence was impressive. He taught me patience and that we shouldn’t give up until we get what we want or learn what we need to learn. How lucky was he not to over-think anything but just live in the moment and make the most out of what he had. How lucky and wise was he to forget things so quickly and just be happy again. How lucky was he to live life so fully and easily. I learned the real meaning of being able to live, love and laugh.

As we grow up, life gets perplexing and demanding. We get so busy and involved with life’s troubles, our goals and plans that we forget to really live. Maybe this is when we need to pause and re-connect with our inner child. Even when we become adults, we have to keep the child in us alive. We need to keep the enthusiasm, the hope and positivity of a child. We need to be reminded that imperfection is ok and that we need perspective in life.

We need to remind ourselves that we don’t have to always hide our feelings and life is not to be taken too seriously.

It is ironic how we think we need to teach children about life when it is us adults who need to learn some lessons from them.

Photo from: http://www.examiner.com/slideshow/toddler-crafts