2017, Make it Your Year

Change starts from within

It’s the first month of 2017 and of course many of us have planned new resolutions to become a better version of ourselves, to improve and change certain aspects of our lives, to grow, be happy and achieve certain goals. Now, realistically speaking, how many of us actually stick to our resolutions?

I would say after the first month, many don’t even remember their resolutions. Research shows that 45% of the people don’t accomplish the New Year’ resolution they set for themselves.

Personally speaking, I love the concept of setting goals, new resolutions for new beginnings. At the heart of the concept is the idea of giving life a new chance, re-evaluating your life choices and really taking out the time to acknowledge that you can improve, get better and change what you don’t like. But what I don’t like is the whole mentality of hoping for the year to be good, things to turn out in your favor. People hope to find a new job, get a new opportunity, find new friends, and get the chance to travel. They wait for circumstances to be in their favor. This approach is problematic and delusional. It indicates that we are reliant upon external factors to change, so we can change. We wait for the external factors to improve so we can be more satisfied and content with our lives. In fact, we are the ones who should be initiating the change on the inside so our external factors, our surrounding can change.

Rumi says “Why are you knocking at every door? Go, knock at the door of your own heart”

You don’t need to look far for satisfaction, happiness or strength. You have to look inside you, you are the source everything in your life. What you feel and think is what will reflect in your life. In order for anything to change in your life, you first have to consciously change your thinking and attitude about it. You cannot be thinking negatively, looking for the bad in every situation and just expect things to turn out good. Because, your thoughts will affect your reality.

Your company, your surrounding effect your energy. This year, I want to focus on really assessing my life in terms of who I spend my time with. You really get influenced by the people you spend most of your time with, you mirror their thoughts, attitude and feelings.

Life is short and our time is precious. We have to be very selective about how and with who we spend this time and energy. We need to make more time for human interaction, really connect with those people who truly love and support us (Family, friends, and colleagues). Human connection is one of the most beautiful things in life, yet we forget its value amidst a busy and digitized, high-paced life. We are scared of having face-to-face conversations, sharing emotions and confrontations but we never think twice before over-sharing on social media. This year I really want to make time and space for what matters and get rid of what is holding me down, whether it is energy, people, things or thoughts.

We should make more conscious decisions. We need to be present in each and every moment and decide what we will make out of it. My point is your life is the result of decisions and choices you make. No matter how difficult, we always do have a choice. Sometimes, we don’t have to do what will makes us happy but what will make us great in the long run. Maybe sometimes we need to do what is important, what is uncomfortable, so we can grow and really learn. We have to stop looking at struggle as something negative. Struggle is the beauty of success, it's where all the lessons are learnt.

Another aspect of New Year’s resolutions that we need to change is the emphasis that is placed on the end result. We always look at what we want to achieve by the end of the year. Whether it’s getting fit, getting a new job, travelling somewhere, buying a new house, a getting a new degree or getting married whatever we decide. We forget that the process and the journey is more important than the end goal itself. The process involves you and your internal attitude. The process is where the transformation happens. The process is where the memories are made. The process is what makes you grow.

We really need to re-access ourselves, how we feel about us and those around us. We need to learn about ourselves. We need to be kind to ourselves and kind to others. We cannot succeed, be happy or achieve anything with a harmful attitude, hatred, greed or envy towards others. Perhaps the most important thing is to really get yourself rid of all the negative energy inside you, so you can really focus on the positive things inside and around you. I have noticed that too often people are so occupied with what others are doing and criticizing their lives, that they lose themselves. I see people just trying to be like others, blindly following what is common rather than trying to understand what they really want. The questions to ask are: Are we living an unconscious life? Are we focusing on the outside when the source of everything is inside? Are we accepting what is given to us and rejecting who we really are? Are we waiting for this year to be good or we going to be good to ourselves this year?

Each year I set a long list of resolutions. This year I have only two; to really live an informed life, to be present in every moment and to appreciate, understand and love myself.

Photo from: http://theauthorincubator.com/happy-2017/